You Can’t Un-jump the Gun

Ever wonder what the idiom “jump the gun” means or where it came from? Probably not. But if you think about it… jumping the gun… I’ll bet you think it is similar to ‘jump the broom’ which comes from two possible sources. The first derives from 19th Century Britain when civil marriages began to be recognized as valid in contrast to traditional church marriages blessed by a clergyman. The second is a possible older source coming from the Romani people of Wales in which the wedded couple actually jumps over the common broom plant rather than the household version used to sweep floors. Two very different things as evidenced in the below included images.

Of course, the bride and groom weren’t expected to leap over an entire broom plant, but just the branches of one, most likely to ensure fertility or good fortune. On the other hand, ‘broomstick marriages’ became known as marriages of dubious validity. Shacking up as it is now called by most, and often referred to as ‘common law’ marriage in more polite society, which is called politically correct society. SSDD.

Marriage has meant many things to many people ever since people became people. The fantasy of having one husband and many wives was never really practical for the general population mainly due to financial considerations.Therefore marriage is more often recognized as a union, by law or spirit, between two people for the sake of producing offspring. And yet, since we no longer need to produce offspring in such great numbers to assure the survival of the species, marriage no longer requires the production of children or even the intent of procreation. At least, the common western idea of marriage is loosely based on love and law and the idea of having a life-long companion.

Not so in other countries where, as most westerners are aware, multiple wives are still available for men who can afford them. These practices are perfectly normal in countries where the number of children killed variously by disease, war, famine or mothers trying to have only sons to fill their husband’s with pride is inordinately high. These countries are considered to be ‘Third World’ countries where living conditions are less than ideal. I am not really referring to China when I say some mothers actually kill their infant daughters because husbands demand she produce male children in order to ensure HIS lineage. The infanticide of daughters is as old as the hills. Daughters can be liabilities in some societies while sons are venerated. All of this is quite confusing and ass backwards, if you ask me, which you didn’t. Depending on the ‘raising’ and the societal ideals, women and men can be virtually indistinguishable as adults with women taking on traditionally male roles and vice versa

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I would like to see the world drinking a Coke together, holding hands and singing in tune, but I will not see this global tranquility in my lifetime. At least, not this lifetime. Such visions of utopia have never really fit very well into the laws of physics (both Newtonian and Quantum). Newtonian Physics predicts and requires that things move from order to chaos. Quantum Physics is full of strange things. Since we think and therefore we are on the Quantum scale, our thoughts are strange and affected by so many variables, predicting what our brains will think of next is probably impossible without aligning a number of factors just so prior to observing the thought you thought you had predicted in your equations. See? Right.

ea008ed5ce1aa41344ef6ecbfa768957

But I digress. Let’s get back to the ‘un-jumping the gun’ idea which is a fallacy according to evidence of time travelers as produced on videos uploaded to YouTube. If you could travel back in time to a place where you ‘jumped the gun’, you could conceivably not jump it. This might sound like a good idea, but just remember, the ‘Butterfly Effect’ is like the ‘weak gravitational’ effect. Gravity is actually very weak at the quantum level; however, gravity is like Serrano peppers: the more there is, the stronger the force. The force builds until the entire structure of space and time collapses in on itself to form a Black Hole.

timetravelermuseumphoto

 

Ah, you are thinking Black Holes might be a non-PC term? Right. Why does it have to be a Black Hole? Why can’t it be a White Hole? Well, yes. It can be a white hole because the very idea that nothing ever escapes from a Black Hole’s gravity appears to be false. Black Holes seen with the use of various telescopes as the centers of huge flowing masses of gas and debris have enormous, luminous jets of gas shooting out of what must be their polar regions. If you are oriented above or below (relatively speaking) the polar regions of a Black Hole, it wouldn’t be black at all, but white, bright and powerful. In fact, the flip side of a Black Hole is a White Projection. Black pulling it all in and white shooting it all out. Yin/Yang and such.

I can’t prove or disprove any of what I just wrote simply because I cannot prove or disprove that my mind actually thought it in the first place or just picked it up from somewhere else when I was sleeping. I do know this one fact, which is verifiable if you search for it, that supports all my theories and goofy crap: America is a wonderful, magical place where you can go to Disney World at any age and, likewise, you can be born white and grow up to be black… if you have the time, the money and the inclination.

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Politics Smolitics

I haven’t written a blog in a long time. I’ve been really busy living my life as the Fates have seen fit to hand me at the moment.

I love politics, I suppose, or else I wouldn’t listen to the news shows, talk radio and friends and family when the topic turns to the subject.

My daughter who graduates today from college with a degree in Creative Writing keeps telling me to separate my writing life from my personal life. That’s pretty hard to do sometimes. I love a good argument, if the participants keep it friendly, topical and above board. I read a lot stuff on the ‘innerneck’ and find them hilariously, uproariously ludicrous even on face value. I love to dig a little deeper and find out the source of these outlandish statements and stories. Normally, it doesn’t take a lot of research to find out I was right and the report was rubbish, maybe a bit entertaining, but otherwise a waste of time.

I love to find the facts that suit the story and then put them in the comments section just to make sure I’m doing my ‘civic duty’. I am a champion for truth I guess. Some tell me it is because of the stars. Being a Libra impels me to try to find balance where none exists. It also impels me to search for the grains of truth lost in the desert of misinformation. I can easily see how people can be deceived. I really can, but what I can’t see or understand is how or what makes them cling to the deceit or the deceit even in the face irrefutable proofs contrary to what they thought was the truth.

One thing I had the good fortune to receive from the Fates (or God, if you prefer), was the ability to see issues from a wide variety of perspectives. I do not have much trouble putting myself in the other persons shoes. In fact, I often give the other guy too much credit by over-thinking the why and wherefore of his/her actions or words. It seems that most people just open their mouths and allow words to escape randomly into the universe no matter what the result.

Making a great effort to ignore a lot of what pours forth from the mouths of imbeciles gets tiresome, but it is well worth the effort on down the line. Never go back and visit the comments of others after the first shock has worn off. By that time, you can bet they’ve already forgotten it and, in my experience, would deny having said it if you bring it up again.

Humans are strange people. They want to say everything  and anything at anytime to anyone, but they down’t want to accept the consequences of their words. I saw a post that astounded me today.

A woman I am friends with on Facebook put up one of those pre-made posts that said: Post your honest opinion of me. I will not comment on your posts. This was directed at everyone who sees her posts on Facebook. There was one comment that said “ummmm”. I was immediately struck by the innocuous insanity of the post. Do you really want all your Facebook friends to actually post their honest opinion of you? Really?

I don’t think so. Some people are just dumb. Others are dumber. Writing blog posts is hard.

MR-writers-block-guy

Revise your revisions, please…. Your edits need editing!

For the last several weeks I’ve been engaged in that tedious chore every author despises: Revising and editing.

I don’t know how many times my works have been read, revised, edited, re-read, re-written, re-hashed and re-edited and still, there are errors to be found, if one is looking for them and sometimes when one is not looking for them. I am always slightly embarrassed and abashed when I run across some really doofus lines or punctuation errors in my stuff. But they are always there.

I actually believe there are little evil gremlins embedded in the works that undo what authors and editors do while they sleep. I know that brownies and imps and other mischievous entities wreak havoc on other parts of our environment. Why would they not have infested our technical devices as soon as we invented them. (Invented what? Entities? Technical Devices? Exactly my point!) That last sentence was vague and ambiguous, which means the same thing… screwed up enough to make you wonder what the hell I was talking about.

But interesting writing doesn’t always involve proper grammar and punctuation. Sometimes the lack of punctuation or an improperly used word can make a boring read something special. If only the editors for Hugo, Hemingway and Melville (I probably misspelled all their names) had left in a few errors just for laughs, my English Lit courses would have been a bit more tolerable. I’ve often wondered how in the world all the “old” or “classic” works seem to have absolutely NO errors in them. Is it because they are old and reworked many times? Or did editors simple do a better job back in the day?

At any rate, I wrote all that just to say this:

I’ve reworked my novels at Amazon and Createspace once again and corrected a number errors. Better yet, I’ve lowered most of the prices on the paperbacks and put the Kindle and Smashwords versions at $.99 each.  So if you’ve not started the series or if you’ve not ordered the paperbacks, they are now up and running.  Of course, I have aged a great deal, but don’t worry about me, just read and enjoy.

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March Madness or Spring Fever begins today…

I am going to offer a free book each weekend from now through April 6. Be sure to get over to Amazon.com and pick up your free copies.

Today’s freebie is Tempo Rubato ~ Stolen Time, a regular $2.99 value. The adventure begins with a murder and a mystery. Elisse Manheim, a rather retiring professor at the Vienna Music Conservatory spends her time teaching music history and occasionally verifying the handwriting of her favorite composer, Wolfgang Mozart, as new manuscripts turn up. When she is asked to authenticate a letter found in a murder victim’s apartment, her skills are put to the test. The letter is no doubt authentic, but there is a problem. It is written on modern company stationery with a ball point pen.

Elisse is unable to put the anomalous letter out of her mind and some would say foolishly begins her own investigation into the origin of the mysterious letter. She soon finds herself over her head in corporate secrets when she leaves her job and goes to work for an unscrupulous corporation. Determined to follow through to the end, she risks everything, including her life to unravel the riddle of the impossible missive signed William A. Masters.

Also available in paperback: http://www.amazon.com/Tempo-Rubato-Stolen-Brendan-Carroll/dp/1448696372/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?tag=donations09-20

Tempo Rubato

Tempo Rubato

Is Meredith Sinclair for Real?

I’ve had a lot of fans (and, yes, I do have enough fans to legitimately use the number ‘a lot’) comment on how ‘DUH!’ Meredith Sinclair’s character seems. The key word here is seems. Yes, Meredith seems pretty damned ‘duh’ at times. And yes, Meredith is actually based on ‘real people’. She is a composite of a number of ladies I have known. 

As we all know, everyone can be ‘duh!’ or ‘doh!’ as per Homer Simpson, but some are much duher or doher than others. Meredith, or Merry, as she was affectionately known, started as a spoiled brat in her mid twenties. She had been fortunate enough to have lived a relatively carefree life up until the time the indomitable Knight of Death walked into her home, barefoot and bleeding one sunny summer’s day.

Up until he arrived, her most demanding decision might have been what type of tea to have with lunch or what scent she wanted in her bath. Her every need, including most of her thoughts, were pre-determined, pre-packaged and predestined to make her exactly what she was when Mark Ramsay stepped out of the shadows and into the real world… her world.

He didn’t arrive looking for love and romance. He didn’t show up bearing gifts and words of woo for our curly blonde heroine. He was on a mission and she was simply drifting through life. Love had been the farthest thing from his mind when they met and her only ambition had been a rather selfish, perhaps even foolhardy notion grown most likely out of boredom. 

Merry and Mark’s paths crossed at exactly the right moment as fate would have it and their relationship grew out of desperation, frustration and chance. True, Mark’s character seemed to have the greater obstacles and the deeper troubles, but Meredith carried almost as much baggage as he did in the end.

Both Mark and Merry have long rows to hoe in the Red Cross of Gold series before they come to grips with their destinies. In the end, it is left to the reader to decide which of them can accept what the gods have in store for them.Image

Did You Miss Me??!!

In case anyone noticed, I’ve not been around much this season (meaning Fall) and now the Yuletide has passed seemingly without me. Believe me, I was quite shocked to learn the world would continue without me so well.

At any rate, I’ve been out of circulation since September, only occasionally peaking in on Facebook and other places here and there. It’s hard to believe I’ve missed almost four months of my usual haunts (no pun intended, but I did miss Halloween) and everything went off without a hitch. I also missed Thanksgiving, the Obamacare Roll Out and 99% of the Christmas Season.

I guess what I missed most was the Duck Dynasty Controversy, but fortunately, it is still rolling along. I may yet get to say a few words about it.

I just wanted everyone to know I am back at home, all is well and the best Christmas present of all was being able to spend it in my own home with my family around me… all three kids, their better halves, my better half, mom and dad, nieces and nephews, dogs and cats all making a lot of noise, breaking a lot of toys, drinking a little Christmas Cheer and eating a great deal more. Tis the little things like friends, family and home that make Christmas a grand time of year, whether you be a Duck Dynaster or a complete Scrooge, no one can disagree with the fact that love is the best of all things we enjoy in life.

I want to get back to work soon and do some writing, some Face-booking and goofing off. I’m looking forward to a better year for 2014 and I’m not taking no for an answer.

Happy Merry Holidays, Christmas, New Year, Thanksgiving, Halloween or whatever you may call your own!! christmas tree

What About Poetry?

I’ve always been a little squeamish about admitting that I even write poetry. I’ve never published any other than a few I’ve written into my novels. Most of what I’ve written over the years has either been lost or deliberately destroyed for fear of someone reading them and then pointing that finger at me and saying “Ha! Ha!” like that mean little kid on the Simpsons.

So I’ve been writing a few poems and posting them somewhat reluctantly over on my account at Readwave.com.  The reason for this change of heart is simple. I’ve decided to go ahead and win the Nobel Prize before I pass on to the happy hunting grounds and this year’s winner for literature writes short stories, and I learned that poetry is not far off the mark as well.

If you want to take a peek, just click on the link above. There are some short stories over there as well and some of them feature characters from my Red Cross of Gold series.

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Common Ground

I just read an editorial piece posted on ‘Being Liberal’, a Facebook page. Oddly enough it was about ‘being liberal’ about Pres. Obama’s apparent wish to make war with Syria acceptable when we all KNOW war with Afghanistan and Iraq and Libya and Egypt and Jordan and Lebanon and so on and so forth is not acceptable. What the piece said, essentially, is that everything President Obama does is OK, no matter what. No matter what he says or does, he’s OK. This confirms my own thoughts about ‘being liberal’, which was immortalized in the words of the song “I’m a lumberjack and I’m OK’.

See article here: https://www.facebook.com/beingliberal.org Notice the photo of Dr. Martin Luther King displayed at the top in FALSE colors. How appropriate. I’m sure Dr. King would be spinning in his grave to know what Democrats have become in this day and age.

See my definition of ‘Being Liberal’ below:4300_The lumberjack

I’m a lumberjack, and I’m okay.
I sleep all night and I work all day.

MOUNTIES:
He’s a lumberjack, and he’s okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER:
I cut down trees. I eat my lunch.
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin’
And have buttered scones for tea.

MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He eats his lunch.
He goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he goes shopping
And has buttered scones for tea.

He’s a lumberjack, and he’s okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER:
I cut down trees. I skip and jump.
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women’s clothing
And hang around in bars.

MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps.
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women’s clothing
And hangs around in bars?!

He’s a lumberjack, and he’s okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER:
I cut down trees. I wear high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra.
I wish I’d been a girlie,
Just like my dear Papa.

MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He wears high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra?!

[talking]
What’s this? Wants to be a girlie?! Oh, My!
And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter!…

[singing]
He’s a lumberjack, and he’s okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

He’s a lumberjack, and he’s okaaaaay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

Nobel Prize

I have decided to win the Nobel Prize for literature. I know that it is an unusual decision for a writer, but I’ve been thinking about it for quite some time. I do believe it is possible for a Texan to win the Prize even though it is virtually impossible for most Americans to win such a prize simply by way of being American. I am quite sure that being a Texan makes all the difference in the world. I mean, think about it. When Texans go abroad and visit foreign countries they invariably answer the question “And where are you from?” with “Texas!”. It would never cross our minds to say “America” since that might include not only the United States, but Canada, Mexico, Honduras, Nicaragua, Belize… you get the picture, right?

Oddly enough, most ‘foreigners’ already know that Texas is part of the United States (the best part) and they love the way we talk.  Mind you, not the way we speak, not our eloquence, elocution or elegance of expression, just the way we talk in general. We are like a whole ‘nother country. They said so on television so it must be true. I, for one, would not wish to or want to or willingly live anywhere else on a permanent basis (unless I could come home at will whenever I felt the urge).

So, as I was saying, I want to be the first Texan to win the Nobel Prize for Literature. Just wanted to get that out there so the people who do the nominating know that I am ready to accept the honor.

Now, I know you are wondering why I think I have a chance at winning such a prize. It’s simple. All you have to do is Google some of the more recent winners and you will see that absolutely anyone can win a Nobel Prize. And if you go further and read some excerpts from the works of the prize winners, you will understand why I feel I am a good candidate. Why, you might even be a candidate yourself. You never can tell.nobel

A Penny Saved…

Here is an interesting piece I published on Readwave, but beware, it’s political! LOLben

Executive Office of the President

United States of America

Washington, D.C.

July 17, 2013

Hon. Benjamin Franklin, President

Society for the Abolition of Slavery

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA

Dear Mr. Franklin,

I am honored beyond human expression to be able to write to you as the 44th President of the United States of America and as the first democratically elected President of African descent.

I have enclosed a slightly modified copy of my last State of the Union address to the American people dated February 12, 2013. I have instructed that it be modified in order to make sure you were able to understand the contents by adding descriptions of our great scientific advances made over the past 224 years. I have also enclosed a current world political map, a copy of the Constitution as it stands today and a new Merriam Webster Dictionary for your convenience.

I would like to ask you, sir, as one of our venerated American Founding Fathers to peruse the enclosed documents and make comments concerning your honored opinion of our progress as a nation. Your words will be an inspiration to me, as President of the Greatest Nation on Earth, and to the American populace.

We, the people of the United States, stand by with tremendous anticipation while awaiting your answer.

May God bless and keep you, sir.

Barack Hussein Obama, Commander-in-Chief of the United States of America

Philadelphia July 31, 1789

Mr. President,

I was quite taken by surprise to receive your letter, but none-the-less was I pleased to find that our nation has endured the years as I and my colleagues had hoped and dreamed. After studying your letter and attachments late into the night, I sent at once for my attorney and his learned associates in order that they should help me interpret the documents with the least misunderstanding possible for a man of my advance age and weakness of body.

We poured over the contents for several days, making notes in the margins, admiring the font and perfection of the type, the quality of the paper all the while analyzing the contents with great alacrity and excitement… at first. However, after much debate, hither and thither, as well as to and fro, we became disheartened, apprehensive and, at times, furthermore demoralized as not only the construction of the letter, but the spirit of the letter became evident.

While I am delighted to learn that much wondrous advancement in science, medicine and the human condition have been made by your time, I am discouraged by your mention of war, poverty, immorality and imperialistic ideology in your address to the American people.

I am pleased and proud to attach my comments to certain portions of your address with questions as well as observations. It seems my doddering old age is preventing me from completely comprehending some of the items enumerated in your address even with the assistance of my good and plenty advisors. In particular, I would like to address the idea that the American government has become an ‘investor in the business of creating jobs’ as well as, an ‘investor’ in what I discern might be private business ventures. It has always been my contention that business creates jobs and that the government’s business is to should stay out of commerce, i.e. ‘business’.

Your commentary concerning charitable acts enforced by the government by way of providing medical care and other emoluments for the poor, elderly and disadvantaged; indebtedness encouraged upon the young by provision of low interest loans for homes; and by the ‘creation’ of jobs wherein the government itself is the primary employer pained me greatly and seems somehow counterproductive to a healthy economy of national commerce.

In particular, I would respectfully and humbly request more information concerning the Affordable Care Act and Medicare. Perhaps, a copy of the initial proposals would shed more light on those programs since I have no current frame of reference from which to draw proper conclusions.

Yours in all faith and sincerity,

B. Franklin

Attachment I

Excerpts taken from Barack Obama, President ‘s for the Year of Our Lord, Two Thousand Thirteen address State of the Union with parenthetical comments inserted on presidential request by Benjamin Franklin, President, Society for the Abolition of Slavery, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. July 30, 1789

After a decade of grinding war, our brave men and women in uniform are coming home.  After years of grueling recession, our businesses have created over six million new jobs.  We buy more American cars than we have in five years, and less foreign oil than we have purchased in twenty years.  Our housing market is healing, our stock market is rebounding, and consumers, patients, and homeowners enjoy stronger protections than ever before. (I SEE THAT WAR AND ITS RAVAGES CONTINUE TO PLAGUE MANKIND EVEN IN THE FAR FUTURE. I AM SADDENED TO HEAR OF SUCH AFTER A LIFE SPENT IN MUCH TOIL ENSURING A BRIGHT, HOPEFUL FUTURE FOR AMERICA AND AMERICANS. I AM ENCOURAGED TO HEAR THAT CONDITIONS ARE IMPROVING)

It is our generation’s task, then, to reignite the true engine of America’s economic growth – a rising, thriving middle class(I AM APPALLED TO LEARN THAT A CLASS SYSTEM SEPARATING MEN INTO CATEGORIES LIKE SO MUCH CHATTEL HAS SPRUNG UP IN AMERICA. HOW CAN THIS BE?)

It is our unfinished task to restore the basic bargain that built this country – the idea that if you work hard and meet your responsibilities, you can get ahead, no matter where you come from, what you look like, or who you love. (WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS BASIC TRUTH? I MUST READ ON IN HOPES OF DISCOVERING THE CAUSE OF THIS TRAGEDY!)

Over the last few years, both parties have worked together to reduce the deficit by more than $2.5 trillion – mostly through spending cuts, but also by raising tax rates on the wealthiest 1 percent of Americans.  As a result, we are more than halfway towards the goal of $4 trillion in deficit reduction that economists say we need to stabilize our finances.  (THESE NUMBERS DEFY COMPREHENSION AND LEAVE ME BREATHLESS. SURELY YOU EXAGGERATE, MR. PRESIDENT. AM I TO BELIEVE THAT AMERICA IS INDEBTED TO SUCH AN EXTENT? I DARESAY THE COUNTRY IS CERTAINLY DAMNED IF THESE NUMBERS ARE TRUE.)

Now, some in this Congress have proposed preventing only the defense cuts by making even bigger cuts to things like education and job training; Medicare and Social Security benefits. (I DO NOT QUITE GRASP THE MEANING OF THIS PARTICULAR ITEM. HENCE MY REQUEST FOR MORE INFORMATION ON “MEDICARE” AND “SOCIAL SECURITY”. IT SEEMS UNCLEAR WHO MIGHT BE FUNDING THESE THINGS. DO YOU MEAN TO SAY THAT EDUCATION AND JOB TRAINING ARE PROVIDED BY THE GOVERNMENT? THE NEXT FEW COMMENTS CONCERNING “THE AFFORDABLE CARE ACT” AND “MEDICARE” LEAD ME TO BELIEVE THAT THE GOVERNMENT IS SOMEHOW PAYING FOR THESE ACTS AND/OR PROGRAMS THROUGH TAX MONEY. I SHUDDER TO THINK THAT THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE BEING BURDENED WITH TAXES IN YOUR DAY AND AGE JUST AS WE WERE BURDENED IN OUR DAY BY THE KING OF ENGLAND.)

(I FOUND MANY CONFLICTING AND CONFUSING IDEAS LITTERED THROUGHOUT THE REMAINDER OF THE ADDRESS. I FAIL TO COMPREHEND HOW THE GOVERNMENT HAS COME TO BE INVOLVED IN SO MANY ASPECTS OF THE AMERICAN CITIZEN’S DAILY LIFE. I ALSO CANNOT BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE ONLY JUST NOW INSTITUTING PROTECTION FOR WOMEN AND CHILDREN WHILE ENCOURAGING YOUNG PEOPLE TO VENTURE INTO A STATE OF INDEBTEDNESS IN ORDER TO ACQUIRE A HOME FOR THEMSELVES AND THEIR FAMILIES. WHAT HAPPENED TO HELPING YOUR NEIGHBOR? AND FOR THE LOVE OF ALL CREATION, WHY WOULD THE GOVERNMENT BE INVOLVED IN THE ACT OF CHARITY? IS THIS NOT AN INDIVIDUAL DECISION? CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME AND SHOULD NOT BE DICTATED BY THE GOVERNMENT. FORGIVE ME, MR. PRESIDENT, BUT PERHAPS I NEED TO SEE MORE BEFORE I COMMENT MORE. I SHALL RESERVE FURTHER COMMENTARY UNTIL I HAVE READ MORE ABOUT THIS “AFFORDABLE CARE ACT” AND “MEDICARE”.

Executive Office of the President

United States of America

Washington, D.C.

August 5, 2013

 

Dear Mr. Franklin,

I think I can speak for all of American when I say how overjoyed we were to receive your letter.

Although I was a bit unsettled by your obvious misunderstanding of the current problems facing our nation today. Things are much more complex now than when they are in your day and age. In 2013, the entire world looks toward the United States of America for guidance and example. Global politics are extremely volatile and require much of our national resources in order to maintain our position as the Greatest Nation on Earth. Our involvement in global trade and global initiatives is imperative. We as a nation must concern ourselves with the condition of humanity not only in America, but across the planet. Of course, we must concern ourselves with the welfare of the American populace first and foremost.

Taxation is a necessary evil, I’m afraid, in this day of global competition for energy resources and industry. We must compete and we must appease the appetites of other nations in order to ensure our continued success as a nation. The American Dream may be harder to achieve now, but it is not impossible. My reference to the Middle Class is simply a of delineating mark, if you will, between the haves (Upper Class) and the have nots (Lower Class). The vast majority of Americans live somewhere between poverty and wealth. We believe that everyone is entitled to pursue happiness regardless of their circumstances and wish to make certain those at the bottom of the ladder have as much opportunity as those at the top. Sometimes this may require progressive methods and techniques not always popular with everyone, but certainly appropriate for the better good of the people.

I have enclosed a copy of Title XVIII of the Social Security Act covering the creation of Medicare and a copy of the Affordable Care Act passed by congress under my Administration.

I hope that you will be able to look over these documents and send your comments as soon as

Thank you, sir, for your time and attention.

God Bless You and Yours,

Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States of America

Philadelphia, April 1790

 

Hon. Mr. President Obama,

It is my sad duty to inform you that my colleague, the very honorable Benjamin Franklin, President of the Society for the Abolition of Slavery has passed from this earth into God’s own hands. May we be so blessed as to live such a distinguished life as our fellow Pennsylvanian, Statesman and Friend to all Mankind.

Unfortunately, although Mr. Franklin endeavored heartily with all his waning might to read the enormous volume of political claptrap you forwarded to him. I would have advised him otherwise, had I been consulted, rather than use his limited energies to a better end. I do believe his efforts to understand your Affordable Care Act and your Title XVIII Social Security Act have contributed to his demise. Why the sheer weight and volume of the tomes is beyond belief, good sir.

I do not mean to insinuate that your Affordable Care Act has laid our dear Mr. Franklin in an early grave since he has lived long and well, but I can tell you that he did say that your Act was neither ‘affordable’ nor ‘caring’ and sure to be the death of many a good Christian whilst he and/or she struggles to understand it in time to employ it should the need arise. As for the Social Security Act, he advises that the government refrain from trying to take care of men and women who do not need such care and focus on providing protection for American securities and investments at home and abroad so that Americans may take care of themselves by whatever means they may see fit. He reminded me ‘A penny saved is a penny earned’.

Yours in faith,

Prof. Benjamin Rush, Surgeon General Continental Army

University of Pennsylvania